Spick and Span

I was Googling the phrase spick and span this morning. As you do when you can't be bothered to dust or clean. Found some interesting stuff but I remained unconvinced. You see, living alongside the fastidious Dutch, I had my suspiscions, even certainties, that the word might have a Dutch derivation. I decided to go the old-fashioned route of looking up my Van Daal (= Oxford English) dictionary and there we have it: spiksplinternieuw means brand new. I am sure down the centuries spiksplinter could have metamorphed into spick and span.

The Dutch can teach us so much about tidy and clean houses that this seems wonderfully fitting. Having lived here seven years I have been hoping that I might have reached some level toward their high standards. Unfortunatley it doesn't seem to come as easily as drinking the same water or breathing the same air. So I thought it might be something in the school curriculum, but there is no mention in the school's handbook, and The Boys certainly don't seem to have grasped it in the same way they have learning to draw, prick out pictures (my mind boggles at the thought of 20 kids armed with needles: health and safety hasn't really come to NL. Not always such a bad thing, I can assure you).

I was excited one day when The Musician started singing "Wij gaan opruimen", which means "We are going to tidy up". However, he started heading for the toilet. On further investigation, I discover that, as his mini classmates dutifully opruim, he heads off to the loo. And who is going to argue with a three year old over whether he really does need to wee.

A further tactic has been to turn up at school cleaning evenings. So far I have had tips on window cleaning which was quite useful I suppose.

What I really want to get to the bottom of is how you can visit many a Dutch home unannounced and it is not only tidy but spiksplinteringly clean. And they have kids. And usually work.

One Dutch friends has a cleaning day every week with her mum. Her mum comes to her place, they clean, have a wee chat and they are bound to have a cup of coffee. Social cleaning is something I have tried to initiate amongst my international friends (not having our mums close by us), but no one seems willing to be first to cast her friends upon her house (or her house upon her friends, depending on your perspective).

Another friend, non-Dutch but has grown up here all her life, has gained two pieces of advice. First of all, have a cloth for everything. Second of all keep all that the public eye can see clean and tidy, and forget the private quarters. As I discovered the other day, public includes the side of your house. My neighbour was sweeping her wall the other day. Please can someone explain this one to me. It had never even made it to my "to do if I could be bothered list". Actually, it had never even entered my mind.

I shall continue to spy. If the truth be known, I am hoping to find they have secret mini robots so they can sit and drink coffee to their heart's content.