What does the phrase 'Working Mum' automatically conjure? Probably most of us automatically think of a mother who works in a paid capacity. But isn't the word working a little redundant? Every mother I know works, whether they are paid for it or not!!
The day I went back to a work-place other than the family home happened to coincide with the publication of a comment in The Times by Janice Turner, 'Women, resist the siren call of the cup cake!' which was written in defence of Rachida Dati, who went back to work 5 days after a c-section. This piece generated 42 posted comments. Interestingly, the following week the same author commented on getting sacked ('Give your sacked friends a quantum of solace') and this only generated 7 comments.
What is it about mothers working at home v those working in a paid capacity that drives so much discussion? A friend of mine sagely said that it is mothers themselves that keep this debate raging. Could this be that, on whatever side of the fence mothers find themselves, they all seem to give birth to the burden of guilt as well as a squirming infant?
In all truth, the majority of the mothers I know that are based at home have not actually had a choice to make. Living abroad, many of my friends have found their aspirations limited by their agreement to follow their husband's career to a country where they are at least limited by language, if not also visa limitations. Then there are the mothers with special needs or disabled children requiring them to be taken to many medical appointments that would test even the most understanding employer's patience. And those whose chosen career before family would not give them the sufficient income to fund childcare.
As for those mother's that are in paid employment, how many have actually had a real point of decision? There are the single mothers having to make provision for themselves and their family; the mothers whose husbands have lost their jobs and they have been the first to gain employment; those whose husband is self-employed and they need to ensure a regular income to meet the ever-increasing bills.
Knowing representatives from all of these camps, I know that most feel guilty. Are we spending enough time with our kids? Are our kids getting the opportunities they need - limited through lack of time or money, or both. Given that we all stand on potentially shifting ground (the mother in paid employment losing her job, the mother at home finding herself to be a single parent etc), should we not support each other in the situations we find ourselves, whether through choices made or circumstance?
Thursday, 22 January 2009
Tuesday, 13 January 2009
Toast
Toast is the buzzword in our house these days. The mere mention of the promise of it and I can bribe The Boys to do anything. The Musician is eating his breakfast at the pace of a snail (no, this is good: it was the pace of a dead snail until he discovered the joy of toast). They are even forgetting the sack of Christmas sweeties, favouring toast. Good. They like it with chocolate spread. Bad??
I stood in the supermarket last Wednesday, contemplating whether to buy a half or a full loaf of bread. This is one of the choices you can be sure of in the Netherlands unless you manage to time our visit with when the bread section is empty, at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon.
I have tended to buy full loaves only to have to hurriedly squash half in our already overloaded freezer, two days after purchase, or find it is too late and the languishing loaf is turning interesting shades of green. I then console myself that it will disintegrate into not too much as I assign it to the bin as its first stop on the way to a landfill site.
Such concerns were going through my head (not that quickly, I must confess: no doubt the security camera was trained on me again as I made my unnaturally long deliberations), standing in the bread section. As it was a Wednesday and the bread famine of Saturday afternoons was not yet upon us, I chose the half loaf.
That was the day The Lawyer chose to fully recover from his flu and consume six slices of toast... He now seems to be dreaming of toast and panics if he goes to bed and has not eaten what he judges as sufficient.
I have tended to think of toast as a curiously British institution. However, toasters are easy to come by in NL and a quick look on amazon.com tells me that toasters are also sought after in US. An Israeli friend of mine also commented that toast is addictive. On the one hand, I was interested that toast has international appeal. But on the other hand, I started to panic that The Lawyer (and probably The Musician) is showing addictive tendencies.
On my sojourn into Amazon, I was much amused that a company called Back to Basics should have in its range the 'TEM500 Egg-and-Muffin 2-Slice Toaster and Egg Poacher'.
Finally, some trivia. According to www.h2g2.com, a BBC owned website (so it has to be true), toast derives from the Latin word tostum, meaning scorch or burn, and it is likely that toast was brought to Britain by the Romans. The poor Roman mothers didn't have automatic toasters, though. A version of sorts arrived in 1893 with the Crompton toaster (www.toaster.org/1900.php), which was a British invention... of course!
I stood in the supermarket last Wednesday, contemplating whether to buy a half or a full loaf of bread. This is one of the choices you can be sure of in the Netherlands unless you manage to time our visit with when the bread section is empty, at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon.
I have tended to buy full loaves only to have to hurriedly squash half in our already overloaded freezer, two days after purchase, or find it is too late and the languishing loaf is turning interesting shades of green. I then console myself that it will disintegrate into not too much as I assign it to the bin as its first stop on the way to a landfill site.
Such concerns were going through my head (not that quickly, I must confess: no doubt the security camera was trained on me again as I made my unnaturally long deliberations), standing in the bread section. As it was a Wednesday and the bread famine of Saturday afternoons was not yet upon us, I chose the half loaf.
That was the day The Lawyer chose to fully recover from his flu and consume six slices of toast... He now seems to be dreaming of toast and panics if he goes to bed and has not eaten what he judges as sufficient.
I have tended to think of toast as a curiously British institution. However, toasters are easy to come by in NL and a quick look on amazon.com tells me that toasters are also sought after in US. An Israeli friend of mine also commented that toast is addictive. On the one hand, I was interested that toast has international appeal. But on the other hand, I started to panic that The Lawyer (and probably The Musician) is showing addictive tendencies.
On my sojourn into Amazon, I was much amused that a company called Back to Basics should have in its range the 'TEM500 Egg-and-Muffin 2-Slice Toaster and Egg Poacher'.
Finally, some trivia. According to www.h2g2.com, a BBC owned website (so it has to be true), toast derives from the Latin word tostum, meaning scorch or burn, and it is likely that toast was brought to Britain by the Romans. The poor Roman mothers didn't have automatic toasters, though. A version of sorts arrived in 1893 with the Crompton toaster (www.toaster.org/1900.php), which was a British invention... of course!
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