Working Mum

What does the phrase 'Working Mum' automatically conjure? Probably most of us automatically think of a mother who works in a paid capacity. But isn't the word working a little redundant? Every mother I know works, whether they are paid for it or not!!

The day I went back to a work-place other than the family home happened to coincide with the publication of a comment in The Times by Janice Turner, 'Women, resist the siren call of the cup cake!' which was written in defence of Rachida Dati, who went back to work 5 days after a c-section. This piece generated 42 posted comments. Interestingly, the following week the same author commented on getting sacked ('Give your sacked friends a quantum of solace') and this only generated 7 comments.

What is it about mothers working at home v those working in a paid capacity that drives so much discussion? A friend of mine sagely said that it is mothers themselves that keep this debate raging. Could this be that, on whatever side of the fence mothers find themselves, they all seem to give birth to the burden of guilt as well as a squirming infant?

In all truth, the majority of the mothers I know that are based at home have not actually had a choice to make. Living abroad, many of my friends have found their aspirations limited by their agreement to follow their husband's career to a country where they are at least limited by language, if not also visa limitations. Then there are the mothers with special needs or disabled children requiring them to be taken to many medical appointments that would test even the most understanding employer's patience. And those whose chosen career before family would not give them the sufficient income to fund childcare.

As for those mother's that are in paid employment, how many have actually had a real point of decision? There are the single mothers having to make provision for themselves and their family; the mothers whose husbands have lost their jobs and they have been the first to gain employment; those whose husband is self-employed and they need to ensure a regular income to meet the ever-increasing bills.

Knowing representatives from all of these camps, I know that most feel guilty. Are we spending enough time with our kids? Are our kids getting the opportunities they need - limited through lack of time or money, or both. Given that we all stand on potentially shifting ground (the mother in paid employment losing her job, the mother at home finding herself to be a single parent etc), should we not support each other in the situations we find ourselves, whether through choices made or circumstance?